


Ship to Saharon

by WritingTrashIsAHobby



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-03 19:42:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17883983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingTrashIsAHobby/pseuds/WritingTrashIsAHobby
Summary: "A human, a Qunari, a Dwarf and an Elf get on a ship to Saharon. Sounds like a bad joke." Elissa commented."It is." Sten stated."Yes. Well." Zevran sighed. "Not sure why I thought coming with the pair of you would be more interesting than bedding the Queen of Ferelden like she was an Antivan whore, but alas here we are.""Antivan whores, eh?" Oghren asked. "Sounds nice."At dawn, two days after Queen Anoras coronation, three days after watching Alistair make the ultimate sacrifice, Elissa Cousland abandoned the Wardens as well as Ferelden.Cousland and Sten, two emotionally repressed, mentally damaged, efficient killers who are consistantly challenging eachother and surrounded by shenanigans.(It's back! Contains blatant abuse of in game dialogue)





	1. Qunlat me die, could you?

Elissa glared at the struggling Arch demon.

This was it. This would be her death.

It was time. She was ready to die a hero.

When she stepped forward Alistairs hand wrapped around her arm, holding her still. He confessed his love. Her told her that he would be the one to strike the killing blow. He couldn't watch her death, but he expected her to somehow endure witnessing his?

"I'm not letting you do this." She told him.

"You say that like I'm giving you a choice." Alistair replied.

He smiled at her so sweetly, so lovingly right before he shoved her down on her ass. Elissa had been hit, cut, stabbed, slashed, punched, shield bashed and none of that had startled her as much as him pushing her to the ground. She landed with a thud and scrambled to stand as he ran towards the Arch Demon.

He was stealing her death from her! She had been certain she would be the one to do this, not him. He was supposed to be King, he was supposed to live.

Her heart wrenching scream ripped through the air as he struck the killing blow. As she watched him die.

He was brave and strong. Kind. Funny. Loving.  
Now he was gone.

Because of her.

Just like the rest of them. Her family, Wynne, even her fucking Mabari had died protecting her.

One gerrible regret ran through her mind on looo as she sobbed and cursed. She should have left Alistair at the gates.

Sten stood behind Elissa silently as she lay crying in the center of blood and ruin.

He watched over her and allowed her to sob and scream and curse. When she seemed done was when he crouched by her side and offered her his hand.

"It is time to stand now, Kadan. The task is done." He told her.

"Kill me." She whispered, gazing up at him with her ash and tear streaked face.

"No." Sten replied.

Days passed.

Anoras coronation was torture. Elissa hated it more than anything. To see the snide sour faced spawn of Logain on the throne made her want to be sick.

When she was asked about a boon, she knew what to request. She asked for a statue of King Alistair the Hero of Ferelden, to be placed in Denerim. A great big 'Fuck You' to Anora was what it really was, and Anora knew it.

Alistair would have absolutely loved it.

Her heart ached thinking of him.

What would she do? Would she remain with the Wardens? Anora wanted to know.

The pain in her chest grew as she came to the realization that she couldn't.

The Wardens, Ferelden. This place was a sickness in her blood now. A poison just as bitter as the darkspawn blood and she was forced to swallow it with every breath. In that moment she knew she couldnt remain a part of any of it.

It was time to leave.

She floated through the celebration like a phantom of her former self. Elissa Cousland helped to end the blight and lost everything but her life in the process. She spoke with some of the people she had come to know. Morrigan was already gone. Leliana was going to return to Orlais. Shale was going deep into the earth. Wynne was dead. Her Mabari had fallen in battle. Alistair had no remains left to even mourn over. Oghren was nowhere to be seen. Zevran was busy talking up a few nobles.

Where would she go? Did it matter?

A deep, irritated voice from behind her grabbed her attention.

"Where is the cake? I was told there would be cake." Sten rumbled.

Elissa turned to see him glowering at an absolutely terrified serving elf.

"Sten?" She hadnt noticed him in the crowd. How had she not noticed him? He was seven feet tall.

"The cake is a lie, Kadan." He stated, looking at her.

"You came. I didn't expect you to be here."

"Is that why there is no cake?" He asked.

"I don't know, you would have to take that up with a certain royal asshole."

"I do not wish to." He said after a long moment of contemplation.

"I want cake now, thanks for that." Elissa looked up at him with her big dark and tired eyes.

"Good. You discuss it with the throned anus." He replied shortly.

A ghost of a smile passed Elissas lips and the skin around Stens eyes crinkled slightly. It was their moment of warmth shared in a very cold room.

"Not worth it and you know it. Come with me." Elissa said suddenly, tugging on the arm of his tunic.

"Where are you going?" Sten asked, remaining where he stood.

"To get cake and cookies and chocolates and be away from this, whatever this is." She waved a hand at the party dismissively.

"I believe your people called it a celebration." Sten stated dryly as he fell into step with her.

Elissa was pleased that the lure of sweets had enticed him enough to follow.

She did not want to be alone, and that had been the only reason she lingered so long.

Elissa wanted see if she could get Sten to refer to Anora as 'the throned anus' again before the day was done. Alistair would have laughed so hard at-

Her heart sank again. Every time she thought of him it was like getting punched in the stomach and slapped in the face at the same time. He was gone, she would never see him again. Why had she been so stupid, why hadn't she seen what he planned to do? Why didn't she just leave him at the gates.

"It is what it is and what our Queen wished it to be and now we are free of it." She told Sten pushing the door open and stepping outside.

"No honour, no gratitude, slight grasp of the obvious. Fine ruler you have there." Sten said as he walked through the door, not caring if the guards heard him.

"That statement was worth a thousand throned anuses." Elissa marveled at Sten appreciatively.

"That's seems a perversion of your peoples currency." He replied.

"Oh no you don't." A familiar voice purred as Zevran slipped out of the party as well. "You two do not get to slink away and leave me in there with that, that-"

"Celibration?" Elissa asked.

"That, is not what that is." Zevran stated firmly.

"I know." She sighed.

"Shall we drink my beautiful and illustrious former Warden?" Zevran questioned, seeing the sadness on her face and desiring to wipe it away.

"Cake." Sten stated darkly, eyeing Elissa. He would not be denied it a second time.

"Cake and drinking?" She asked.

"The elf will be joining us then. Fine." Sten sighed.

"Oh, absolutely my imposing golden skinned friend. It seems fated that the three of us would end up together after this." He stepped between Sten and Elissa, placing a hand on both of their backs as he padded them affectionately. "The brawn, the brains, the beauty and the two of you. It is destiny, yes?"

"Destiny is superstitious nonsense. Life is not a journey that ends with you arriving or not arriving at the proper destination. Life is what you do. Life is the duties you fulfill." Sten replied.

"I'm with Sten on this." Elissa agreed. If destiny was real, then she would be dead and Alistair would be on the throne.

"Yes. Well." Zevran sighed. "Not sure why I thought coming with the pair of you would be more interesting than bedding the Queen of Farelden like she was an Antivan whore, but alas here we are."

"Bitch." She said it before she could stop herself.

"Yes." Sten agreed.

"Perhaps a flexible bitch, no? One I'm sure has all kinds of expensive jewelry just laying about." Zevran teased.

"I didn't think I would ever have to say this to you Zev and to be honest I dont want to ask this of you, but please don't seduce and rob the Queen." Elissa requested as she opened the door to the bakery.

"This place smells pleasant." Sten announced, lowering his head to enter the building.

"That it does." Zevran agreed.

Several people stepped out of the way. Gaping at Sten.

"Your monumental size never dissapoints." Zevran chirped, walking to the front of the line.

As they learned months ago, having a Qunari with you when shopping was most helpful when navigating a crowd.

Elissa picked up a satchel and filled it with cookies and handed it to Zevran. She lifted a large spiced cake and put in Stens arms, the Quinari eyed it greedily. Lastly, she saw the sticky sweet buns and asked the baker for a box of them.

"What are those?" Sten rumbled in curiosity.

"Good." She told him confidently.

"Orleasian sweet cakes." Zevran was talking to a stranger in the shop now while eating a cookie they had not yet paid for. "Say what you want about the country, but the food is very nice. The women arent so bad either mind you."

Elissa paid and the three of them left the shop.

Later, Zavran and Elissa sat outside on a stone wall near the chantry, drinking something from a dark green bottle Zevran had hidden away or possibly stolen from someone they passed.

Sten stood a foot taller than the wall with his back to them. He ate the sweets slowly and in silence as Zevran and Elissa debated the meaning of saving the world and how it would and would not affect their lives.

"Your language is fascinating, there is no way in the Qunari tongue to use so many words and yet say nothing." Sten grumbled at them.

"I dont think that is a trait of common tongue, but instead of Antivan brandy." Elissa responded and pointedly took a swig from the dark bottle.

"Perhaps." Sten replied, eyeing her cautiously. "Either way, Farelden celebrations are pathetic."

"What would you know of celebrating, exactly?" Zevran questioned, a smile on his lips.

"Declaration of a qunoral vehl is a cause for much celebration. It is one of few occasions when the qunari are permitted to engage in… revelry. There is imbibing of spirits, public chanting, meditations abandonex. It is madness." A small smile spread on Stens lips as if remembering a glorious time.

"I am picturing drunken Qunari orgies.Yes? Public fornication, feasting, dancing. Please don't deny it. In fact, I would request you go into great detail describing such an occasion." Zevran leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands to listen to Stens response.

Elissa swallowed another mouthful of brandy to prepare herself.

Sten studied her with an intensity for a moment before replying.

"It is… interesting. It can take days for the Ben-Hassrath to restore order. There may even be executions."

"Ah, sex and blood. Perhaps your people know how to have a good time after all." Zevran grinned.

"I wanted him to execute her after I died killing the Arch Demon so I could kick her ass in the afterlife." Elissa confessed out of nowhere. Perhaps the subject of sex and blood had spurred it. Either way, both men blinked at her as she was thumbing the bottle of brandy she had not shared in some time.

"You have an intense amount of hate for that woman." Zevran noted. "I like this. Are you sure I shouldn't sleep with her and steal her things?"

"Yes." Elissa responded, taking another long drink.

"I suppose I should tell you… I have decided to return to my people." Sten informed her, turning to look at her sitting above him.

"What?" Elissa demanded, sliding off the wall, urgency in her movements. Her boots struck the ground and kicked up dirt as she landed in front of his large frame.

Sten almost smiled. To see her teetering slightly in her inebriated state, so displeased with his departure amused him. The fact that she had grown fond enough of his presence to have such a reaction to his leaving was pleasing.

"Why?" She questioned, a frown on her small delicate mouth.

Zevrans amused eyes danced between the pair.

"Your quest is done, and thus so is my reason for accompanying you." Sten told her.

She searched his face. Though his expression was impassive she could see the absolute resolution in his eyes. He had decided, he longed for home.

"There are still darkspawn." She attempted lamely.

"The Blight is done, and you have decided to no longer be a warden. Darkspawn are no longer our concern. I have an answer for the Arishok that no longer requires the question. I owe you a great debt."

For the past year, his steadfastness brought her comfort. His stillness delivered her peace. His lack of fear gifted her bravery. Now her big deadly muscled security blanket was going to leave her? Absolutely not.

"Take me with you." Elissa didnt know if it was the drink or the despair but the words for what she truly wanted fell from her mouth freely.

Stwn quirked his head at her.

Zevrans face spread into a broad grin.

"If you owe me a debt. I'm collecting. Take me with you. Show me your homeland." She squared her shoulders and forced her expression to be firm.

"Is this what you truly wish?" He rumbled.

She nodded emphatically. Her pony tail bobbing up and down as she did so.

"Very well. The ship leaves in two days time. I will meet you on the docks." Stens eyes had yet to leave hers.

"Fantastic!" Zevran announced.

The elf slapped a hand against his knee and stood upon the wall.

"We are a ridiculously awesome trio if I may say so myself. Which of course, I may. So, how long will this boat ride of ours be do you think?"

"You're coming?" Elissa asked, looking up on the wall where Zevran stood, his hands on his hips.

"Absolutely." He answered, theatrically looking in the distance. "I feel this is a glorious opportunity to seize. Opportunity for what, I have no idea, but I'm going to- is that our drunken dwarf of debauchery I hear?"

"Let me go you sodding giant of a woman! You wouldn't know a good time if it bit you where the moss grows!"

The three of them heard the shouting much clearer as the chantry door opened and Ogrehn was thrown into the street. Naked. Oghren was sprawled out in the street face down for a few seconds before he attempted to stand.

"Shield your eyes, Kadan." Sten warned as the dwarf stood.

Elissa did so, having no desire to witness Oghren bare as the day he was born.

The chantry sister who had shoved Oghren out was yelling at him.

"If I see you come anywhere near this chantry again, I swear by the maker-" she stopped screaming at Oghren when she realised they had an audience.

She vanished inside and the back door to the chantry shut.

"Hello my little friend!" Zevran called to Oghren. "It is quite cold out, is it not?"

"No pants on under the robes! Just these strips of cloth wrapped around their nethers. You owe me 5 silvers elf."

"What were you doing naked in the Chantry?!" Elissa asked, still covering her eyes with her arm.

"You mean who. Hehehehe." Oghren replied.  
Despite herself, Elissa chuckled in an immature fashion.

"Cover up before you get arrested for attempting to blind the city." Sten ordered.

"Afraid people are gonna poke an eye out tryna get a closer peak, Giant?"

"They'd have to be that close to see it, I fear." Zevran whispered to Elissa, fueling her drunken snickering.

"No one sane would willingly see what you display, Dwarf." Sten responded.

"Actually there are some..." Zevran began but stopped himself. "Oh, did you say 'no one sane'? Yes then, I agree with you. Dress yourself Oghren."

"Yeah, yeah. Give me a minute.'

Oghren sighed loudly in satisfaction and Elissa heard what sounded like water but... no he wasn't! He wouldn't!

"On the side of the Chantry? Really my friend?" Zevran wondered curiously.

He was.

"Oh! That's disgusting!" Elissa cried in her blindness.

"Cover yourself." Sten repeated.

"What do you expect me to cover myself with?" Oghren demanded.

Elissa heard the rustling of clothes.  
"Parshaara! Put that on!"

"Is it safe to look yet?" Elissa asked.

"No." Sten responded.

Elissa elected to remain visionless for the time being.

"Oh calm yer braids beast man. She ain't no virgin she's seen one of these before."

"Never do that movement again!" Zevran muttered in disgust.

"Hehehehe." Oghrens laugh floated over their bodies like an unwanted tickle.

"Like it a little too much did ya, Swishy?"

By the sound of Zevran and Stens disgust, clearly the dwarf had done the movement once more, with feeling.

"Cover what little there is to before someone removes it." Sten growled.

"Fine! Ya giant sod, didn't have to go threatening my manhood!"

"Brave, to call it that." Sten muttered to himself.

"He is clothed now." Zevran told her.

Elissa peeked over her arm.

Oghren was wearing Stens shirt.

"Oh yeah. Laugh it up girlie." Oghren snipped.

"Looks like mage robes on you." Elissa exclaimed as she lifted the bottle and took a long drink from it.

"Is she drunk?" Oghren asked, grinning.

"Yes." The Elf and Qunari answered in unison.

"Nooooo." Elissa answered before a smirk made it's way across her lips. "Oghren's coming with us!"

Her announcement was emphasized by the pointing an invisible bow at the dwarf.

"Alright. Where we headed?" Oghren agreed.

"Of course you agree to follow blindly." Sten criticized.

"It's not like his people will have him back." Zevran commented.

"At least mine don't want me dead." Oghren grunted.

"Yes they do." Zevran smiled.

"To Stens house! home... home-land." Elissa looked at Sten hapilly.

This was the first time she had truly smiled since the battle and Sten found himself gazing at her face for longer than necessary. It was good for those with the soul-sickness to have companionship, if he wanted her to heal, she required it.

Though he did not enjoy the company of the elf nor the Dwarf, he would tolerate them, for her.

"Vashedan." Sten cursed. "To Saharon."


	2. Antivan mad about it.

The hornless Quinari stood near the ship. His imposing mass cast the longest living shadow on the docks. He seemed an indifferent and indomnible statue amidst the scurrying small forms around him.

His violet eyes scanned the crowd of humans and elves rushing about haphazardly to complete disorganized tasks. Sten was searching silently for the one he wanted to see, his Kadan. When he did finally see her walking towards him through the crowd, his expression softened slightly.

She was no longer wearing her warden gear, instead a pair of leather breaches and a cream colored tunic. Her swords, were fastened to her by a familiar leather harness. She was drunk, again and looked more like what she thought a pirate would than a great warrior.

"Shanedan Kadan." He greeted.

"Shanedan Sten." Elissa replied. "Shanedan does mean 'Hello' doesn't it?"

"It is a respectful greeting. Translation is that I will hear you."

There was silence between them as Sten studied her closely. The glossy look in her dark eyes, the slight sway of her inebriated body. She was coping by poisoning herself, numbing herself to her own losses and confusion. It hurt to see, as watching her cry had.

"I've never left Farelden before." She blurted, and laughed. It was not a real laugh, it was short and sang to him of nervousness and sorrow. "I suppose I will be soon, wont I? Leaving. I'm happy about it. I think some time away will do me good. I think perhaps seeing things I've never seen before and eating things I've never had. I wonder if-"

"You are rambling." He interrupted.

"You said you would hear me." Her expression was irritated.

"You don't normally speak so endlessly."

She sighed.

"You have not slept." He told her.

"I look that bad?" She asked, lifting a brow.

"Yes." Sten was never one to pull a verbal punch. "You are suffering. Asala-taar. Soul sickness."

"Is that what this is? I thought I was just drinking too much." She joked bitterly.

"That too." He agreed while watching her produce a brown bottle from her satchel.

"What are the Qunari lands like?" She asked, eyeing him challengingly before uncorking the bottle and taking a drink.

"Unless you are too drunk to function when we arrive, you will see." He told her.

Elissa gave him a dirty look as she put the bottle away.

"Where is your armor?" He questioned.

"I left it." She replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. She was really wishing she hadnt put the bottle back already.

"Hm." Sten turned and began walking towards where the ship was boarding.

A small man with a clipboard was startled by them.

"Sten of the Barasaad and The Former Warden." Sten told him impatiently.

"The Former Warden?" Elissa asked, crinkling her nose. "Cute Sten."

"I liked it." Sten replied as the man looked for them on the list.

"It's Lady Elissa Cousland." Elissa told the man, an sudden air of arrogance about her.

"It says 'Former Warden' right here." The man told her, tapping the parchment.

"Well. Change it." She ordered.

"Cant do that. When the passage is paid for, that's when the name gets written down." The man replied.

Elissa glared at Sten, who almost showed an expression of amusement.

"So are you 'Former Warden' or not?" The man asked.

"Slow down ya... soddin... Antivan... nugshit!" They heard Oghren bellow between breaths from the other end of the docks.

"Speed up my fat little friend!" Zevran sang back to him, appearing at Elissas side.

"Zevran, of Antiva." The elf told the man happily. "And the not so glorious Oghren, from the small angry dirt people."

The man looked at the clipboard.

"You're not on the list." He informed them after a few moments.

"Okay, what smartass names did you give them Sten?" Elissa prompted.

"None. I did not procure their passage on the ship." he answered.

"What?" She asked.

"I owe you a debt, not them." Sten informed her.

"If I did not know you so well my stoic giant, I would think you did not want us to accompany you." Zevran prodded.

"I dont."

"That was a little harsh but nothing I can't bounce back from." Zevran told him.

A huffing Oghren had joined them, red faced and sweating profusely.

"Are you going to purchase passage or..." the man looked at Oghren and made a face. If it was the dwarfs appearance or his odor offending the man was anyones guess.

"We... dont... have.... blighted...." Oghren was trying to complain but couldnt get enough air in his lungs to yet.

"Yes. Absolutely. How much for one of your finest cabins?" Zevran inquired, slapping his friend on the shoulder, producing painful coughs and wheezing from the dwarf.

"Twenty sovereigns" The man replied.

"What are you looking at me for ya knife eared pipe cleaner?"

"Big talk for a man who lived in a tunnel. Pay the man so we may board the ship." Zevran replied.

"I don't have that much!" Oghren snapped.

"How is that even possible? You dwarves are supposed to be..."

"Supposed to be what?"

"Fiscally sound, of course, I am not surprised. You have never seemed very successful at being a dwarf." Zevran told him.

"From the elf who hates the woods? By the stones, that's a rich judgement." Oghren grumbled.

"The woods are filthy." Zevran made a face. "Like you, and you wouldn't know rich if it nipped you on your fat little-"

"Here." Elissa said. Pulling twenty gold coins out of her satchel. "Passage for the Antivan pipe cleaner and the Dwarven tunnel expander."

"That is significantly more than I paid." Sten told her dissaprovingly.

"Disturbing nicknames aside I do believe you love us as we love you!" Zevran exclaimed.

"Sten and I are taking the nicer room." Elissa replied indifferently.

"Perhaps love was too strong of a word, yes?" Zevran asked her.

"On a ship they're called cabins." The man informed her.

"Oh wow. Really, that's fascinating." Elissa told him with mock interest, pulling out her bottle and uncorking it with her teeth. She spit the cork out off the dock and into the water.

The man gave her a sour look as he wrote down some things on the clipboard.

"Go on ahead." He gestured for them to board the ship.

"I understand that there are elves in the Qunari lands." Zevran said as the four of them moved up the planks.

"There are elves everywhere." Sten replied.

"Unfortunately. " Oghren grumbled to Elissa.

In turn she wiggled her eyebrows at the dwarf in amusement and shared her drink.

"Hm. Yes. Well, I've heard that the Qunari actually put the elves in charge? Over the humans? Is that true?" Zevran continued.

"Some of them." Sten said.

"Only some? Which ones are they?" Zevran was curious now.

"The ones who belong in charge. That is the way of the Qun."

"How does this Qun determine who belongs in charge?" Elissa asked curiously.

"The tamassrans evaluate everyone and place them where their talents merit."

"Oh... So if I wanted to be a part of the Qun. I would be evaluated by the Tamassrans?" She asked.

"You wish to join the Qun?" Sten asked, slightly suprised by the question.

"I'm not sure yet." She answered, jumping up to sit on the railing of the ship.

"But elves, in general, merit higher places than humans in Qunari society?" Zevran asked, gesturing from himself to Elissa.

"Some of them." Sten replied again, still looking at Elissa. A part of him, a bigger part than he would admit, was proud to be taking her to his homeland.

"Back where we began. It's like talking to a water wheel." Zevran complained then looked to Oghren. "Come, let us find where we will be sleeping this evening."

"What do you think the Tammassrans would have me do?" Elissa asked, staring over her shoulder at Denerim.

"Leave most likely, unless you learn Qunlat." Sten answered.

"Teach me." She told him.

"Learn." Sten replied.

Elissa nodded.

It was a bitter sweetness to have her with him. She was not herself. She had lost her balance. Since the Warden male had struck the killing blow her eyes had been cradled by dark circles and reflected a pain. She walked differently, like lifting her feet was but a bothersome task.

This could be corrected, if she allowed.

Perhaps he would help her as she helped him. He would guide her patiently towards her balance and remind her what it was to have purpose. Her raw willpower would quickly be her undoing without it.

His Kadan had found his Asala for him.

He would find her Asala for her.

"Shanahadan Sten." She said, examining his face. "What are you thinking?"

She was already implimenting Qunlat, that was a good thing, she did not have long to learn.

"Few among the Qun's people speak the common tongue, and fewer speak it well." Sten stated.

Elissa nodded.

"Tomorrow. We will speak only Qunlat." He told her.

Again, she nodded.

"You will not argue?" He asked.

"Not until I can do so in Qunlat." She replied.

"Wise choice." Sten commented, she had taken his half joke about the Tamassrans asking her to leave seriously.

Looking back out at the city, she scowled and shook her head of a thought.

They stood in silence for a time, Sten regarding her carefully.

"You know, it's funny but... I dont think I will miss it." She said finally when he didn't ask.

"How is that humorous and what is there to miss?" Sten asked. "Most those you cared for are now dead or have left you. Your no longer have purpose-"

"Okay." Elissa interrupted, chuckling while raising a hand to silence him. "Not funny at all then I suppose."

"Still. You laugh." He stated.

Elissa shrugged and lifted the bottle to her lips again.

"Aren't people supposed to miss their people, to want to be home?" She asked, arching an eyebrow. "Its funny because the place I was born, that I was so ready to die for... it doesnt even feel like home anymore."

"I see no humor in that." He answered, watching her drink. A disapproving expression on his face.

"I do." She whispered, a dark grin spreading across her features.

"Because you are drunk." He told her.

"Probably." She shrugged, lifting the bottle to regard it appreciatively as she moved to stand on the railing of the ship.

A bell rang somewhere on board the ship.

"You should get down." Sten told her.

"Why?" She asked.

The bell rang again.

"They are launching the ship and I do not wish for you to fall." He stated.

She made no move to get down or show that she had even heard him.

Sten reached out and grabbed the waist of her pants just as the ship lurched.

Surprisingly, Elissa did not fall or even stumble in her drunken state. Instead her knees bent and she rode out the harsh movement of the ship, Stens hand gripping her belt was unneeded.

"See. I'm fine." She told him, flashing a cocky smile.

"Get down." He growled.

"Cat like reflexes." She teased, lifting a foot and teetering slightly.

"Pashera!" Sten snapped. "Enough."

"Fine." She surrendered. Her eyebrows lifted as though he were the one being unreasonable.

"You are acting foolishly." He criticized as she climbed down.

His hand remained on her belt, even when her feet were planted on the ship deck. The warmth of her soft skin pressed against his large rough knuckles was something he was commiting to memory. He enjoyed it, but felt a deep shame in the pleasure. It was a betrayal of the Qun to feel the way he did about her and she was suffering.

"You think I'm an idiot." She stated, looking up at him.

Sten realized he had held on for too long and released her unceremoniously.

"It does not matter what I think. You have told me that much on several occasions." He responded stiffly.

"Fair enough." She shrugged it off. Lifting the bottle to her lips and walking off down the ship.

"I think you are small and stubborn." Sten rumbled, mostly to himself, but loud enough that it would hit her.

Elissa stopped walking and turned to him.

"This coming from someone large and impossible. I'm almost flattered." She replied, arching her eyebrow.

Sten grunted and walked to her.

She made no move and showed no fear. She was completely unthreatened by his size from the first day they had met.

He took the bottle from her hand and whipped it over the side of the ship.

"Hey!" She snapped.

"Your education begins now. If you want to be Qun, stop behaving like Basra." Sten stated.

"I've not been acting like Oghren." She responded.

"That was almost funny." He conceded.

"I know." She crossed her arms and tapped the wooden deck of the ship with her boot. "Are you calling me a little beast?"

"You have your moments." He answered.

"What did you throw my brandy into?"

"The sea. Obviously."

"In Qunlat, please." She requested.

"Aban."

"Drinks are ah banned now?" She joked.

"No." He said it firmly in response to her pun, not the question.

"Oghren would have liked that one."

"That is not something to take pride in." Sten replied dismissively as he walked away.

"Aban." She echoed, looking out at water. Her eyes drifted to the shrinking size of Denerim as they left it. For a moment, she almost felt happy.

Did Sten think she could actually be Qun? The thought made her feel an odd sense of... hope.

Quickly she followed him into the ship where they found a ship hand to show them to their cabin.

Elissa could hear the arguing through the door.

"Listen here Elf boy, just because you're swishy doesnt mean I am gonna let you bunk up with her!"

Elissa looked up at Sten and then opened the door.

"Are we interrupting something?" She asked.

"No, no, not at all." Zevran stated happily from where he lounged on the bed. "I was just wondering which side of the bed you prefer. These accommodation are marvelous."

"You're not bunking up with her, I am!" Oghren snapped.

"Nope. No. Not happening!" Elissa announced, grabbing Zevrans bag and dragging it to the door.

"Hehehe! See! She doesnt want you as a roomie."

"You arent sleeping in here either." She told Oghren.

"What?!" He demanded.

"Your feet nearly killed me in camp and that was out in the fresh open air." She informed him.

"Yeah. Well. Sod it." The dwarf stomped over to the dining table and chairs. "This is way nicer than down below."

"Down below?" She asked.

"I arranged for sleeping in the community barracks." Sten stated from behind her.

"Its horrible. Hammocks full of fast asleep farting Fereldens." Zevran complained, stretching out on the large bed. "We could all stay in this lovely room together."

"There's one bed." Elissa pointed out.

"You and I shall share it and allow the undesirables to sleep upon the floor. I have only solutions to offer." Zevran put his hands behind his head happily.

"Who're you callin undesirable girly boy?" Oghren demanded.

"This argument is pointless." Sten rumbled. "This is her room."

"Exactly and I already told you Sten and I get the nice room." Elissa reminded them.

"You would truly rather share a cabin with Sten?" Zevran looked almost genuinely hurt.

"If I sleep next to you, I'm getting my ass grabbed. If I sleep next to Oghren I'm getting my ass grabbed and farted on." She retorted.

Oghren muttered something.

"You snore and you're gassy Oghren and your feet stink. It's just a fact. Sten sleeps like a corpse." Elissa told him as she pulled out a chair at the table and sat.

"You wake up screaming half the time, so dont go acting like sleeping next to you is a prize." Oghren told her, joining her at the table.

"Oh! Look. You have a fruit basket!" Zevran informed them, pointing to a desk tucked in the corner.

"Fruit basket?" Sten questioned, also joining the table.

"Anything good in it?" Elissa asked.

Zevran climbed off of the bed and picked the basket up.

"What wouldn't be good in it, my darling Former Warden."

"I'm done being called that." She warned.

"What would we call you then?" Oghren asked, looking confused.

"I have a name, you know. Although I dont think anyone has used it once this past year." She snipped.

"Cousland." Sten stated.

"No. Elissa." She told them making a face.

They spent a year together and all they knew was Cousland? Assholes.

Zevran put the fruit basket on the table and sat in the last available chair.

"Elissa." Sten seemed to be trying it out. "I do not like it, Kadan."

"Elissa." Oghren grumbled. "Too girly."

"I hate to agree with them, but I think perhaps we have called you Warden for so long that-

"I'm not a Warden any longer and I do not care to be reminded that I ever was." She stated, her demeanor shifting into something frustrated and noble.

"You.. did not choose to be a Warden?" Zevran asked, looking confused.

"No." She replied, looking up at the ceiling. "I was conscripted. Who would want to be a Warden anyways. I can imagine all of them now, just sitting around, talking about taints."

"Hehehehe." Oghren liked that.

"Choosing to be or not to be is pointless. If you are a Warden no longer, then you are now a Former Warden." Sten told her.

They were all quiet for beat as Elissas face tightened and for a moment they caught a glimpse of the hardened battle maiden who had lead them through the past year.

"Sten, it's not a name is it?" Zevran asked.

"It is who I am." Sten responded.

"It's your rank is it not? I've met a few Qunari in Antiva you know. Not much for conversation but some of them were quite easy on the eyes."

"Those are not Qunari."

"No? They are what then, very large dwarves with comical accents?" Zevran joked.

"They wear the faces of Qunari but they are Tal'vashoth, fiends of Saharon. They have abandoned the Qun."

"With titles like your own though, which makes me curious. What is your real name then?"

"Sten is enough."

"But it is not your name."

"It is who I am."

"Every time. Water wheel. Why am I not surprised?" Zevran wondered.

"How long are we gonna be on this soddin ship?" Oghren asked.

"Fourteen days to Kirkwall." Sten answered.

"This is going to be a looooong trip." Elissa sighed, throwing her feet on the table carelessly.

"Yes." Sten agreed

"Yes. Well. Who wants to play a game of Wicked Grace?" Zevran asked.

"Fine." Elissa agreed.

"If I catch you cheating I'll throw you into the ocean elf." Oghren threatened.

"Aban." Elissa said to herself softly.

Sten nodded at her approvingly.

"Trust me my smelly friend, you shall not catch me." Zevran replied while getting up and pulling the deck of cards from his pack.

They played in a companionable silence for a time.

"I knew one of your countrymen once, elf." Sten spoke to Zevran.

"Oh? Have you been to Antiva, then?"

"No. Until I came to Ferelden, I had never left the islands. She came to Seheron twice a year with the traders who bought spices from the northern jungle. Only she among the traders would speak to the antaam. Questions about the rainforest, its depths, and the things to be seen there. We humored her. She was... an unfortunate soul." Sten told him.

"Unfortunate in what way?" Zevran asked curiously as he turned a card.

"She was a Crow, as you were. Sent to assassinate the Kithshoks, leaders of the army of Seheron, for the Tevinter Imperium. We knew this, and pitied her."

"I'm surprised you did not simply slay her." Zevran replied, turning cards in his hand.

"There was no need. Her questions were meant to show her the way through the jungle towards our fortifications. And so one day, she snuck into the jungle to find her target. We found the pieces of her body in a tree, where the spotted cats kept them for later. We had never told her that our Kithshoks were the ones who negotiated all of the trades."

"Then she was an idiot." Elissa stated, not looking up from her cards.

"That's not very sympathetic, and I agree." Zevran added.

"It was her ignorance we pitied, not her mistake. She believe we hoarded things we cared for as her own people do. We were sorry for her, that she thought only some people were important."

"The Qun believe everyone is important?" Elissa asked, drawing a card.

"Yes." Sten answered.

Elissa made no reply and did not look up from her cards still. The dark under her eyes nearly touched on the bridge of her nose and she was blinking to stay focused.

Oghren and Zevran exchanged a look.

Sobriety and exhaustion were closing in on their former Warden.They all knew she had not slept much if at all since the Arch demon was defeated, also that she had spent little if any time sober since then as well.

Oghren nodded at Zevran. It was time for them to let her rest.

"I feel like a walk. You think your little legs could keep up, yes?" Zevran asked.

"Yeah. Yeah. Let's see what's going on around here, Princess." Oghren replied, standing.

"Princess?" Zevran questioned.

"Don't act like you dont like it."

"We havent finished the game." Elissa complained.

"We weren't betting. Hardly call that a game." Oghren said to her as the pair left the room.

"You should sleep." Sten told her, setting his cards on the table.

"Fine." She agreed and got up.

"You dont mind bunking with me, do you Sten?" She asked.

Sten looked from her to the bed.

"You are not a peaceful sleeper." He replied.

"I know." She told him, scratching her head. "I meant, you and I in a bed together... is that..."

"Go to sleep." He answered.

Elissa nodded and dropped herself on to the bed.

Silence stretched in the room as he watched her lay there unmoving, her breathing slowly becoming deeper.

"Sten?" She asked.

"Yes, Kadan?" He answered.

"What does Saharon look like?" She asked.

He began describing it and she was asleep before he finished telling her about the trees.


	3. All of Us Out Caste

They were a ridiculous looking trio as they sparred on the deck of the ship the next morning. It was oddly fitting that they remained together now, each were in their own form of self imposed exile. Which, was the topic of this mornings conversation.

"It's not like they're going to send a letter. 'Congratulations! You have been ejected from the warrior caste!'" Oghren told them as he swung his axe at Elissa.

"That _would_ be very official of them." She replied as her swords clanked against his weapon and redirected it.

"The letter from the crows would read a little bit differently, I think." Zevran joked as he stepped to the side, evading taking Elissas boot to the head. "Dearest Zevran. We are currently plotting a way to kill you, looking forward to seeing you soon."

"Better than anything the Wardens would send." Elissa told them, swinging a blade at Oghren, who blocked it with his axe.

She circled the dwarf and gestured with her blade.

"Greetings Former Warden, Have fun with your taint." She said, then crouched and jumped backwards out of reach of her two friends strikes for the moment.

"You know, you look like you could be a 'Saurana' in your new life." Zevran told her, as he moved in towards her.

"I think she looks more like an Gilda." Oghren chimed in.

"I don't think I need a new name at all." Elissa told them as she blocked Zevrans daggers with her swords and spun out of the axes reach.

"Elissa is just so blighted pretty." Oghren told her.

"Not to mention becoming very known." Zevran added.

"Elissa. Eliss. Lissa. Issa. Eli." Oghren was just rambling nicknames, trying to find one he liked. 

"I like Elissa." She replied, swinging a sword over the dwarfs head.

"Perhaps Sten will give you a rank-name, yes?" Zevran teased. "What was it like, by the way? Sharing a bed with our larger than life friend? Did his size make it uncomfortable?"

"I fell asleep without him in the bed. I woke up without him in the bed and the pair of you banging on the door, begging me to come play." She answered, swiping another kick at the elf, which he ducked under.

It was silly to call it training. They knew eachothers moves too well and had no desire to actually harm one another. Still it was effective exercise.

"What was it like below?" She asked, smirking as Zevran slapped Oghrens axe away with his daggers.

"Well, firstly. Our stocky dwarf here demanded to have the hammock above mine." Zevran complained. "Which, getting him up there in the first place was a nightmarish scene mind you, and then he proceeded to fumigate the area with his necrotic gaseous emanations."

"Hehehe."

Oghren had to jump back away from Zevrans daggers as the elf attempted a fast attack.

"You my friend, are abhorrent. However I am almost impressed you can produce a smell worse than your feet." Zevran snarled as Elissa swung at him.

"Shanahaden Kadan." Sten greeted as he approached.

"I'm not a warden anymore. I'm Elissa." She replied happily, swinging her sword towards Zevrans head. The elf ducked it with ease.

Sten spoke again and none of the words were familiar and his tone indifferent, ut she could feel him arguing that names are meaningless things.

She lowered her blades and stepped away from the two who continued to spar.

"Shanahaden." Eliss said, giving Sten her full attention.

He nodded approvingly and said something in qunlat she didnt comprehend and began to walk away.

She followed, not sure what else to do.

Sten spoke to her for a while, gauging her responsiveness to words he knew he had used in her presence before.

Unfortunately, when he saw slight recognition in her eyes, a familiarity with the way something sounded it was rare and usually tied to a threatening or profane word or phrase.

He wasnt quite sure if any of what he was saying was getting through until about mid day, when she stepped in front of him and put her hand on his shoulder. The gentle way her fingertips pressed into him caused him to look at her sharply.

" _ ~~You are soft.~~_ " he told her. She did not register any deep understanding at his words. He was grateful and warned himself to not repeat saying such a thing to her. It was an indulgent misuse of his language.

"I dont understand anything you're saying to me." She told him and patted his shoulder, she pointed to the rippling waters of the sea.

"Aban." She said.

He nodded, understanding that perhaps she didn't take to language as easily as he did. Few could.

She pointed to the sun.

"Sun." He said the Qunlat word for it and she repeated.

It went on like that for the rest of the day, she would point to something and he would say its name. Or he would prompt identifying an item for her. She picked up most words very quickly, which impressed him, but he would not allow her to know that.

The next day was similar, she parroted the words he spoke often as though commiting them to memory.

By the end of the week she seemed to have started to grasp some concept of constructing a sentence. Though her statements lacked complexity or purpose. 'The sun bright.' or 'the Sten tall'. She was quickly mastering the obvious.

"Will you speak common tomorrow, please?" She asked that night before crawling into the bed. Under the covers for the first time.

He nodded.

She thanked him.

Sten almost smiled as he lay on the floor at the foot of the bed.

"Sten?"

~~_"I will hear you_~~ " he responded.

"Will you sleep in the bed?"

"No." He told her. He rolled onto his side with his back to her voice. He did not want her to request such things.

She understood his decline but not his reasoning. Sten was grateful for this, as he was as sure as he was half a year ago when he pointed out she was female that any advance made by him would be inappropriate and met in disapproval.

"Its ridiculous for you to be down there." She told him.

" ~~ _Enough of this_~~." He told her.

"You are not a mabari." She told him.

" ~~ _No. I am a man_~~." He said, making sure his tone was short enough to end any argument before it began.

She sighed and he heard her shift around and fall asleep.

A handful of days passed until one morning they discovered someone on board the ship had been murdered. The victim was the man who had acquired the cabin across from Sten and Elissa.

Naturally, the group spoke to Zevran about it first.

"I have not killed anyone since we boarded the ship. Of course I have considered it several times, as I am one to do, naturally, and I will not deny such a thing is fortuitous considering I did immediately request his cabin." Zevran told them over breakfast.

"I thought you didnt have enough coin?" Elissa asked suspiciously.

"I have been doing a lot of gambling." Zevran answered her easily. "Also I may have stolen quite a number of valuables from-"

"Zev." Elissa sighed.

"I thought you would be pleased with me for seeking my own fortunes."

"You are aware that I don't typically endorse criminal behavior." she told him.

"Typically." Sten looked at her curiously.

"There have been occasions." She remembered dumping pieces of a dead body down a well in Denerim with Zevran and the elf smirked at her knowingly.

"Occassions where criminal behavior would be permitted?" Sten asked.

"You stole cookies from a child, Sten." Elissa retorted.

"And?" He asked.

"Enough. We need to find out who's gone all stab happy on our boat." She told them.

"Technically it's a ship." Zevran corrected.

"No, really, that's what it is?" Eliss asked, mocking surprise.

"That's how the guy got taken out eh? Stabbed?" Oghren asked, eyeing Zevran suspiciously.

"Did we not just go over this? I am innocent as a virgin, at least on this occasion." Zevran defended.

"I don't like how ya say virgin." Oghren muttered.

"Odd thing to complain about, but that's neither here nor there." Zevran shrugged.

"According to one of the workers he was thoroughly carved up." Eliss told them while cutting into her food, attempting to get the men back on track.

"This does not concern us. Why waste our time with it."

"Sten. Life has value, we cant just wander around pretending things like this don't matter." She argued.

"They don't." He told her.

"Do your people tolerate murder amongst themselves?" She asked pointedly.

Sten narrowed his eyes at her but remained silent.

"Well, do they?" She pushed.

"No." He finally said.

"Then why does this person not matter? Because he is not part of the Qun? Because he was Bas? " She pressed.

Sten said nothing but scowled.

"All people matter equally. Remember?" Elissa told him.

"Very well." He conceded.

"Did she just out Qun you, Qunari?" Oghren questioned, chuckling.

"No." Sten glared.

"It seems like she may have done so, yes." Zevran teased.

" ~~ _You know not of what you speak. Neither does she, move on._~~ " He told them.

"Oh, we touched a nerve. He's talkin all Qunlaty again." Oghren chuckled.

"So. Let's get into that room and look for clues." Elissa suggested, willing them back on track again.

"I'll pick the lock." Zevran smiled.

"I'll cause a nice little distraction." Oghren rubbed his hands together.

"And as expected I will stand outside if the door, on guard, looking irritated." Sten sighed.

That is exactly what they did. Oghren sought out the first deckhand he could and started asking about the room and haggling loudly and drunkenly the fact they could not charge full price for it.

Zevran picked the lock as Elissa exchanged glances with Sten.

"All lives matter." Sten said dryly.

"Even ones not of the Qun." She retorted her voice matching his arid tone.

"Ah, yes. All done." Zevran whispered happily as the lock gave way. "Oh, this room is much nicer than yours. If, you disregard the blood that is."

Eliss closed the door behind her and looked around.

Zavran was right, this was a much nicer cabin. It had a bathtub.

There was blood everywhere though.

"The ceiling, really?" Elissa asked pointing to the splatters above her.

"Grotesque. Yes. Most likely not the work of an efficient killer. This scene reeks of enthusiasm however, good for them." Zevran told her. "Let's move quickly and see if we can find any evidence.

"I think that's a piece of an ear. Zev? Is that a piece of an ear?"

"Yes. A lobe I believe."

"Lovely."

"Oh! Aha! A journal. I am sure this will divulge some information- well... hmm. Interesting." Zevran said as he opened the book.

"What?" Elissa questioned.

"He seemed to have a proclivity for drawing things of a perverse nature between his journal entries." Zevran mused.

"How perverse?" She asked.

"Look at this one." He held the book up to her face.

"Wow." She said.

"Do you think that this journal belongs to the killer or the deceased?" Zevran questioned.

"I thought the brood mother was the worst thing I would ever see." she told him, ignoring the question and focusing on the drawing.

"So many nipples." Zevran agreed, referring to the brood mother.

Zevran turned the page of the journal.

"What are those tentacles doing to that woman?" Elissa demanded, snatching the book from Zevran and examining it closely.

"If you have to ask you are too innocent for me to tell you. I thought you had-"

"I have! But, there... and there... oh, no, Zev, this guy is a sicko." She told him, wrinkling her nose.

"If it were not tentacles performing the act I would disagree. However it is tentacles so I'm too conflicted to really have an opinion to share yet to be honest. A conversation for another time." Zevran snapped the book shut and tucked it in the waist of his pants. He then searched under the bed, through the drawers, under the rug.

Eliss looked behind a curtain.

"There's a balcony. I dont have a balcony." She told him.

"The case has been solved. Someone clearly murdered him to acquire these delightful accommodations." Zevran told her.

"And they thought redecorating with blood was, what exactly? A new and innovative design choice?" She asked.

Zevran smirked at her.

"You never know." She stated.

"Based on what's in that book, you may not be wrong." He answered.

"Oh! This is a phlactery, isnt it?" She asked picking up a vial on a desk.

"Yes, it would seem so."

There was a bang on the door. That was Stens signal someone was coming.

Eliss slipped the phlactery into her pocket.

"Yea! Let's see the damage then!" They heard Oghren shout louder than necessary.

"To the balcony." Zevran told her.

They pair quickly opened the balcony door and stepped out, pressing themselves against the hull of the ship.

Zevran was already peering over the side of the railing.

"We may have to climb." He told her. "Theres a ledge and from there we could simply climb up that rope down there."

"Is this really necessary?" She whispered as they heard the door to the cabin open.

"No, probably not but it would be invigorating and excellent exercise, no?"

"Alright. When pressed." She agreed, motioning for him to get a move on. If they were playing detective they may as well go all the way with it.

Zevran climbed over the railing and lowered himself onto the narrow ledge of the ship.

"Perhaps I will make a rogue out of you yet? Yes?" He asked as she climbed over.

"We both know I'm better at kicking doors in than picking locks."

"Given a lot of time and a supreme amount of patience. I'm sure you could attain a modicum of talent for it." He encouraged. "Just picture it, you and I, traveling across Thedas, a crime spree to rival the ages."

"You're going from Assassin to cat burglar?"

"I will if you accompany me my Ferelden Temptress." He wagged his eyebrows at her and reached up for the dangling rope.

When his hand closed around it and he pulled the rope pulled taught.

"Oh. Good. It is attached to something." He breathed a sigh of relief and handed Elissa the rope.

"Who would have thought when we first met that you and I would one day be in this position?" He mused, climbing up after her, his eyes focused on her rear.

"I didn't think much other than 'Hey! That elf is coming at me really fast with a knife. Better kick him in the balls.'" Eliss admitted as she climbed over the railing of the ship and onto the dock.

"That was certainly a very unpleasant educational and humbling moment." Zevran commented as he climbed over after her.

Below they heard Oghren shouting about how he didnt need to see any soddin balcony.

Eliss and Zevran peered over the side of the ship to see the balcony door open.

Oghren, visibly distraught stepped out, accompanied by a deck hand.

Zevran looked over and winked affectionately at Elissa.

"That was fun." He told her.

"It was." She smiled. "Let's go see what this is all about." She told him, pulling the phlactery from her pocket and examining it.

The pair traveled back below deck.

Despite their best efforts they were unable to decipher much meaning from the journal. Only that the writer name was Gunther, he had been a greatly disturbed, practiced blood magic and surprisingly he was also a Gray Warden.

That night, she sat on the bed in her large cotton night shift, flipping through the pages of the journal.

The images and ramblings made her stomach turn.

"I wonder if he was a blood mage before the joining." Eliss told Sten. "I think he was conscripted."

"Why do you concern yourself with this?" Sten asked from his usual spot on the floor.

"He was looking for a cure to the taint. The warden sickness." She told him, crawling to perch on the end of the bed.

Stens eyes flickered briefly up at her bare kees. He made an irritated sound.

She was too distracted by the pages of the journal to notice. Her small toes wiggled as she read in silence for a few minutes.

"He thought a form of blood magic might be the key to a cure." She continued, lowering the book to peer down at Sten.

"It would make sense, wouldn't it? Being conscripted, the joining, darkspawn blood-"

"What is this conscription you complain about constantly?" He interrupted her rambling.

"I was forced to be a warden. When you are conscripted you can not say no, and no one can say no on your behalf." She muttered, fingering the pages of the book.

"No 'on your behalf'?"

"Yes."

"This makes no sense."

"If I had been a templar, for example..." She attempted.

"Yes." He would follow her attempt at explaining, this time.

"The wardens could have forced the templars to release me from their ranks to enter the ranks if the wardens."

"You were not a templar." He told her.

"No. I was Bryce Couslands daughter. A noble. A fighter with free will, a soldiers of my own, a land, people and family to protect. Highever." Eliss did miss parts of Ferelden, parts she would never get back.

"Why did they force you if your position was so important?" Sten questioned.

"Duncan said he came because of word about me." She grumble

"Word?"

"I'm a good fighter."

"I am aware." He stated.

"People discussed it." She sighed.

"Unsurprising."

"Its complicated. I don't want to talk about it."

"That is an honor and you complain." Sten rumbled disapprovingly.

"Yes." She admitted.

"Why?"

"Its not what I wanted."

"What one wants is unimportant."

"He forced me to leave my mother and father to die." She confessed, closing the book in her lap.

"Your what?" Sten looked confused.

"Parents." She offered the word like it would help.

"If you're going to talk to me then use real words." He grumbled.

"My tamassrans."

"Your parents were like tamassrans, your priests?"

"No. Parents The people who made me. Raised me. Taught me. Loved me. Protected me."

Understanding dawned on him.

"I am sorry you could not protect them." Sten replied after a long moment.

"I could have died protecting them. I should of-"

"You have a disturbing obsession with your own death" He interrupted.

"People keep dying for me." She said it more to herself than to him.

"Your life has value." His words were iron.

"All life has value." She replied.

Sten was silent again for several moments.

"This is true." He admitted.

This time Elissa was silent for a bit. The book forgotten for now.

"Alistair wouldn't let me die." She said.

"I was there." Sten replied.

"He should of. He was going to be King."

"You believe a Kings life has more value than your own?" He asked.

"That King."

Sten had hoped his foolish jelousy of the male Warden would have died with him. Much to his dissapointment, it had not.

"That King disagreed." Sten responded.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Elissa challenged. She was assuming Sten was going to make a joke about Alistairs intelligence.

"Only that he was a good King." Sten sighed.

More silence sat between them as they both thought.

"Would you have let me do it if you had been a Warden? Would you have let me end the blight?" She asked.

"I am not a Warden." Sten sounded irritated now. He would have done just as the male Warden had.

"But if you were-"

"I am not a Warden. I have never been a Warden and I do not believe in entertaining hypotheticals." Sten looked at her darkly. "You are attempting to decipher if your life has value to me, Kadan."

"Does it?" She pressed.

"I did not kill you."

"That doesn't answer the question."

" ~~ _Then you are not truly listening for an answer._~~ " He informed her.

"What?" She asked.

" ~~ _Let's be done with this._~~ "

"That I understood." She told him, crawling back up to the head of the bed and squirming under the covers.

Sten grunted and grabbed the journal, opening it to a random page.

A drawing of a woman and tentacles.  
Sten immediately snapped the book shut and dropped it back on the bed. The heat in his blood suddenly iced.

"Humans are deranged." He stated, laying back down.

"Some of them." Elissa agreed.


	4. Kadan have better company.

" ~~ _Wake up my heart._~~ "

Wake up, Warden. Thats what Elissa understood.

"I am not a Warden any more! Knock it off Sten!" She snapped, rolling up and pulling the covers around her. 

He saw her half lidded eyes lose focus and close.

" ~~ _My stubborn heart_~~." He said after a moment, his eyes crinkled slightly.

"Great. Para Kadan." She groaned, throwing the covers off of her violently. "I'll be 'Former Warden' for the rest of my life now. In Qunlat and Common."

" ~~ _You are unpleasant when you wake up_~~." He told her.

"Where is the food?" She grunted rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

" ~~ _You are also messy. You throw your clothes everywhere. You are undisciplined in basic responsibilities. You consume too much food for one so small._~~ " He continued, walking about the room.

"I'm up. I'm up. Stop nagging me." She climbed out of bed and padded towards him, bare legged and acting tall.

A desire he had grown all too familiar with denying ran through his body.

" ~~ _Dress yourself._~~ " He told her shortly, averting his eyes.

"You're cranky in the morning." She told him, walking to the table and grabbing a peach from the fruit basket. "Maybe if you ate something you would be in a better mood."

Sten looked from her to the peach she held in her palm. The frequency of which she tempted him unknowingly was ridiculous.

" ~~ _I am leaving this room now._~~ " He told her and turned to walk away.

"Giant grump." Elissa muttered to herself as she sat on the bed and took a bite of the peach.

She looked at the dead mage wardens journal and picked it up.

A few things stood out to her.

This person was on a quest to find a cure for the taint. He referred to someone as 'F' in his writings. He suspected 'F' had managed to have the taint completely drawn out of her. Speckled through the disturbjng imagery was little rants ablit his conspiracy and scribblings of random words. Dragon. Fade. Blood.

Later on that day Elissa brought up the idea.

"Dirty pictures and nugshit blithering." Oghren told her dismissively.

"What if there _is_ a cure?" She asked.

" ~~ _First you wish to solve a murder and now you choose to obsess over the rantings of a disturbed man._~~ " Sten grumbled.

"If there is a cure." Zevran said supportively, ignoring the displeased sounding Qunlat words Sten shared. "Perhaps our murderer will know something of all this, yes?"

"That's what I'm thinking." Elissa agreed. "Let's split up and explore the ship today. See if we can get any leads on what happened. Someone had to of seen something."

"We were in the room across the hall and were unaware until I smelled the blood." Sten told her.

"Oh, so you'll speak common to object to one of my ideas, how surprising. I'm shocked." Elissa told him. "See the look of shock on my face?"

Her expression was as impassive as Stens and he chose to ignore her sarcasm.

"I agree with Sten." Oghren said suddenly, a drunken lilt in his voice. "Why are wanting to go foolin around with your taint?"

"Its not all about the taint. Someone on this ship murdered someone, a _Warden_ Oghren."

"Yeah, well." Oghren grumbled something.

"I find it disturbing he is agreeing with me." Sten announced. "Perhaps I should reconsider my opinion."

"I'm happy you two are so excited to help out." Elissa drawled.

" ~~ _I refuse to acknowledge your words unless they are spoken in Qunlat._~~ " He told her, looking the other direction.

"You know what. Zev is my favorite today." She informed them all, slapping the table.

"I am your favorite every day, you just don't always admit it." Zevran told her smiling.

Zevran and Oghren went below deck to gather what information they might while drinking and gambling.

Sten and Elissa went above deck to talk to the crew.

Sten was still speaking Qunlat at her.

Expressing his frustration with the fact she was allowing herself to be so easily distracted from lessons.

No information was found yet she did not stop needling everyone for it.

By sundown, she was angry. Having spoken to nearly every deck hand and crew member on the upper levels of the ship.

" ~~ _Enough of this_~~." He finally told her as his irritation mounted.

She sighed, understanding his words.

"I agree. I'm done for the day." She mumbled.

When they returned to their cabin, Zevran was seated on the table, toying with the phlactery.

"Any luck?" Elissa asked him.

"Unfortunetly, my friend, not really. I'm afraid no one is speaking much about the murder."

Elissa cursed in Qunlat.

"I was thinking." Zevran placed the phlactery down on the table. "Tomorrow I will have Sten accompany me into the bowls of the deck. His intimidating size may be more likely to encourage a few to answer some questions, yes?"

"You think you have a lead?" She was hopeful.

"Perhaps, but the man walks away whenever our drunk little buddy shows up. I do not think he is overly fond of Dwarfs. Maybe it's just the lack of hygene that put him off." Zevran sighed. "The first thing I'm going to do when I get that cabin is strip him down and scrub him."

"I don't think Oghren will enjoy that, where is he?" Elissa asked, moving to sit at the table.

"No one will suffer more than I at that time, believe me. I'm sure he is passed out somewhere in his own waste by now. You will you humor me with a game of wicked grace, yes?"

"Alright." She agreed. "I need _something_ to distract me."

" ~~ _Play your game quietly._~~ " Sten told them, sitting on the floor cross legged at the foot of the bed. " ~~ _I will be meditating_~~."

"Have you been able to start understanding him yet?" Zevran questioned while shuffling the deck.

"A word here and there, mostly I rely on his tone and expressions to be honest." She answered.

"Oh yes, he is so incredibly expressive." Zevran replied. 

Elissa smiled a little.

"He is doing what, exactly? When he sits like that. Like a statue, but breathing? Is he praying?"

"I think he's just thinking." She responded, taking the cards from Zevran so she could shuffle.

"He sits for hours and just... thinks? Is that why you chose him to share your cabin?"

"You have to admit. It's better than Oghrens shouting and farting."

"I would not disagree with you on that. However, you could have chosen me. I would have brushed and braided your hair for you. I still can should you choose to eject him."

" ~~ _I can braid better than you. Be quiet elf._~~ " Sten rumbled.

"His disposition is not as pleasant as mine." Zevran stated, looking at the Qunari disdainfully.

"I like his disposition just fine." Elissa defended.

"I wish to sleep up here tonight." Zevran dared.

"No." Sten replied firmly.

"It's all vomit and body odor below the ship. A place for filthy degenerates."

" ~~ _You should fit in quite well then. Be quiet_~~." Sten mumbled.

"The hammock hurts my back. How do you expect-"

"Will you let him meditate in peace if I say yes?" Elissa asked.

Sten cursed in Qunlat.

"I will be as silent as a shadow, my lady." Zevran promised, grinning at Sten mischeviously.

"Fine." She said. "He doesnt sleep in the bed anyways."

"I will happily take that position." Zevran purred.

Stens jaw clenched tightly.

"Where does he sleep then?" Zevran feigned looked confused.

"The floor."

"Oh, that is _interesting_." Zevran noted. "You must have back pain, yes my large muscular friend? Or some other type of discomfort? Perhaps the bed is too small and you are afraid your size would damage it? That it would break under you?"

" ~~ _Be quiet, elf. I find your implications to be annoying._~~ "

"I'm pretty sure he's told us to shut up a few times and now he is threatening us." Elissa told Zevran.

"Oh, yes. I'm understanding now. Talk of things too small to endure him disturbes his thinking process."

" ~~ _Enough. I will throw you off the ship._~~ "

"See, that's a threatening tone." Elissa said patronizingly. 

"Yes, thank you. I hadn't picked up on that." Zevran replied sweetly.

Sten growled. 

"We need to be quiet now." Elissa stated.

"As you wish, Kadan." Zevran told her, smirking.

Sten opened his eyes and glared at the elf.

Zevrans eyes twinkled with uncontained amusement.

Later on Elissa climbed in the bed and Sten layed on the floor.

Zevran observed this routine with dissaproval, amusement and a tinge of frustration. 

"You know, I usually sleep in the nude." He told them.

"No." Sten and Elissa snapped at the same time.

"I was joking! Mostly. You two are so prudish." Zevran clicked his tongue and lay on top of the bed, with his arms behind his head. He slept on top of the covers that night, keeping his hands to himself respectfully.

Elissa did not. 

In the middle of the night she shouted in her sleep and punched Zevran in the rib, He immedietly reconsidered his choice to share a bed with her. Perhaps Stens motivations to sleep on the floor, was not entirely due to his attraction to the woman  but instead her propensity for violence even as she slept.

In the morning he woke when Sten did and they left Elissa in the room sleeping. 

"I have noticed we have not so dissimilar tastes, you and I." Zevran told Sten casually as they journeyed down to the bottom of the ship.

Sten did not reply.

"I also fancy things that are strong and beautiful." He continued, eyeing the large Qunari slyly.

"You speak as though I understand what you are talking about." Sten responded.

"Oh, you are having trouble with deciphering my meaning?" Zevran joked. "Well. In that case I suppose I should do away with any attempt at being coy."

"Are you attempting to seduce me, Elf?" Sten asked loudly as they entered the community barracks.

A few passengers looked over curiously.

"Hmm. Amusing." Zevran told him. "You know I am eluding to the fact you are in love with her."

"I do not know what that word 'love' means nor who you are indicating."

"You can stop playing that game right now Qunari. I will not fall for it. I have seen the way you have made moon eyes at her since I joined up with you all. I noticed when you told Alistair to draw his sword the day after the night he claimed her maidenhead. That boy genuinely thought you were going to make an attempt at his life."

Sten remained silent.

"You have loved her for how long now? I only wish to discuss it because I too fancy her a great deal and if she is brought any pain whatsoever I will be forced to kill you while you sleep."

"Perhaps you are the one in love with her." Sten replied.

"I will not deny my deep fondness for her, or the fact I would not mind sharing my body with her and that I wish she had not told me I am limited to only enjoying her friendship. Most find her quite beautiful, don't they?"

"I would not know. Human standards of beauty baffle me."

"Liar." Zevran sighed. "You find her lovely, do you not? You wish to bed her and that is why you sleep on the floor."

"I heard her striking you last night." Sten told him, looking slightly amused.

"Nothing a Qunari couldnt handle, I imagine."

"She is suffering." Sten replied gruffly "The man she loved gave his life for hers. She is lost in the world, confused and seeking understanding. She has little experience with the act, and ultimately it would bring her no peace even if she had the desire to perform it."

"You are so _so_ very in love with her." Zevran teased.

"If this 'love' you speak of means to simply care about another's well being then so be it."

"What does 'Kadan' truly mean?"

"Warden." Sten lied. "I have told her as much."

"Hmm... I do not think you are being very honest regarding that. You never called Alistair Kadan and yet he was also a warden, was he not?"

Sten glared at the elf.

"What is this Qunari 'act' like?" Zevran asked quickly.

"I believe you heard me describe it to the witch." Sten grumbled.

"Oh, the bit with the armor and teeth. That it was deadly and if you attempted to nuzzle she would need a heated pry bar. Hilarious."

"I thought so." Sten smirked.

"Truly though. I am quite curious."

"What is the elf act like?" Sten retorted.

"The same as any other, given variations of flexability and vigor." Zevran told him, a perverse little smirk on his lips.

"You have your answer then. The act is the act. What it would be for one pairing is not what it would be for another."

"Fair point." Zevran admitted. "Oh look. There he is."

Zevran nodded towards a man half asleep in a hammock. He had a disheveled beard and wore tattered clothing.

"Very well." Sten stated and approached.

When he arrived beside the mans hammock, he stood directly over him, quietly.

Zevran grabbed a stool from a nearby table and dragged it over next to the man and sat.

"Hello again." Zevran sang to the stranger.

The stranger snored.

"Shall I shake him?" Sten asked.

"Not yet." Zevran replied.

The elf then kicked the hammock, causing the man to swing and startle awake.

"Hey! How?! _You_ again. You Antivan bastard. I told you I didn't know anything." The man spat at Zevran, and then noticed Sten towering over him.

Sten growled.

The man paled.

"Yes, it is I, again." Zevran chuckled from his seat, eyeing the man. "You see the problem is I do not believe that you are telling me the whole truth and, normally I would not bother much with such matters, but a very dear friend of mine is extremely invested in solving this. Well, you see she has had a rough time of it lately, to put it mildly. Her lover sacrificed himself to end the blight and since then her mental health has been... how would I put it... delicate. Now, my friend here-" he gestured to Sten, who bared his teeth at the man. "is also very, very fond of her and it would frustrate him a great deal if someone, let's say you, somehow hindered our attempts at finding the perpetrator of this crime. Have you ever seen a frustrated Qunari? It is a wonder to behold, I assure you. They have an affinity for simply wrapping their hand around a mans neck and squeezing until his head pops off like a champagne cork."

"I saw someone splattered in blood sneaking into the storage deck." The man blurted quickly.

"Ah. Yes. Thank you!" Zevran slapped his hands together and stood. "See? No need to resort to violence. Come my friend. Let us report back to our beautiful Kadan. Yes?"

Elissa had been sleeping when Oghren let himself into the room.

"Wakey wakey!" He thundered, placing the armful of food he carried on the table.

Elissa blinked and sat up, she scowled at Oghren.

"Dont go lookin at me like that! I brought food didn't I?"

"Fair enough." She grumbled and stumbled out of bed to join him at the table.

"Where's Sten and Swishy?" He asked, ripping a large chunk of bread and biting into it.

"I don't know. I was sleeping until you showed up." She grumbled, rubbing the sides of her face. 

"How do you become a Warden anyways?" He asked.

"What?" She blinked the sleep out of her eyes. Oghrens curiosity about the Wardens had mounted the past few days.

"Warden, how do you do it? I've heard you mention a 'joining' but you never got into it."

"I dont think I'm supposed to discuss it." She told him, grabbing a hard boiled agg and cracking it against the table.

"Weren't ya supposed to stay with the order too?" Oghren snorted.

A small smile spread on her lips and she rolled the egg across the table more. Dozens of satisfying little cracks erupted under her palm.

"They put darkspawn blood in a chalice." She whispered, thoroughly enjoying the divulgance of Warden secrets.

"So what, ya gargle and spit?" He asked.

"You're not allowed to spit." She told him, peeling the shell from the egg.

"That's what I always say. Ehehe."

Elissa looked at him, disappointed.

"That joke was wasted on you. Wasn't it?" He asked.

"Yes." She replied.

"You really didnt get it? I thought you and the pike twirler had, ya know."

"It was a sex joke. I gathered that much." She told him, sitting back in the chair and pulling her knees to her chest. "We did, the 'ya know' a few times."

"Forged the moaning statue." Oghren chuckled again.

Elissa smirked fondly at her memories with Alistair.

"Licked lamp posts in winter." She joked.

"Ah! That's a good one. Wait, who's lamp post was he licking?"

"What?" Elissa asked, feigning innocence. 

"I've seen you kill so much. I never thought you were still so soddin' pure. Especially after traveling with Zevran so long."

"Zevran's the bad influence here?" She asked. "Really?"

"And me." He admitted begrudgingly.

"To be honest I didnt pay much attention to what you two were talking about. I was busy trying to save the blight and avenge my family." She admitted.

"Still thought you woulda got the licking and swallowing jokes." Oghren said. 

"What does swallowing have to do with licking?" She asked, still playing stupid. 

Oghren choked on his bread.

"Haha! Try to kill a man with his own breakfast. Funny!" Oghren snapped, pink faced.

"I'm serious, I don't understand it at all Ohgren." She stated, furrowing her eyebrows at him. 

"If ya lick it long and hard enough, maybe play with the stones a bit he will eventually-"

"Ahh! Interrupting an intense intellectual conversation I see." Zevran interrupted, walking through the door Oghren had left open.

"Something ridiculous. I'm sure." Sten grumbled as he followed behind Zevran.

"Oghren and I were making rude jokes." She stated.

"Like how to polish a sword with the tongue rag." Oghren chimed in.

"That's disgusting... but accurate." Elissa responded, avoiding looking at Sten.

"Why is this being discussed, exactly, and why was I not a part of it?" Zevran demanded, joining them at the table.

"Feel left out, swishy?" Oghren teased.

"Absolutely." Zevran told them in a rather reprimanding fashion.

Oghren and Elissa shared a conspiratorial look as Zevran grabbed an apple from the table and bit into it.

"Okay Zevran." She began formally and the elf nodded while chewing.

"You're eager to talk about playing with stones, eh?" Oghren teased. 

Zevran only smirked at the attempt to make him uncomfortable.

"What does licking and swallowing have to do with stones?" Elissa asked. 

Stens face hardened.

"If this is some form of bawdy Ferelden riddle, it is not that clever." Zevran replied. 

"Thats when he drains the ol' magma chamber." Oghren chuckled. 

"And tells her that she can't spit?" Elissa asked, her eyes twinkling darkly.

Zevran opened his mouth to say something disrespectful about Dwarven fellatio practices but Stens angry voice cut him off.

"What have you been telling her you smelly little goblin?" The Qunari demanded.

Zevran bit the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from laughing.

"He made a joke." Elissa defended.

Sten was staring at her two companions harshly.

"Have some breakfast." She told him, kicking the available chair in his direction. "We wont talk about any more if it bothers you so much."

"You shouldn't discuss these things with them at all, Kadan." Sten told her as he sat.

"Why? Because I'm a female?" She questioned, cracking her egg against the table violently.

"No." Sten responded. "Because you are respectable."

Elissa shot him a withering look, he pretended not to notice.

"Oh! We have good news!" Zevran announced. "Someone was seen sneaking into the cargo hold, splattered in blood


	5. Big Ship On Your Shoulder

Elissa was up and throwing her pants on under her sleeping shirt.

"Ya couldn't of waited until after we were done eating?" Oghren asked Zevran.

"I thought she would be excited to hear about our discovery." Zevran replied

"Clearly she is." Sten muttered.

"Come on!" Elissa told them, putting on a boot with such haste she nearly fell over.

"Why are we rushing?" Sten asked.

"You dont want him to get away do you?" She demanded, slipping on her other boot.

"We are on a ship at sea, Kadan. Where do you expect him to escape to?" Sten questioned her.

"Alright." She conceded, walking over to them and throwing her boot on the table to lace it. Specks of dirt crjmbled off of the sole of her shoe onto the table and Zevran shifted his food away from the offending limb.

"I want answers now. Are you lot coming or not?" She asked.

" ~~ _You run towards whatever suits you in the moment and we follow_~~." Sten muttered.

"No time like the present." Oghren sighed, standing.

"Good." She laced her other boot and the four of them were making their way to the cargo hold.

Zevran and Eliss in the lead.

Oghren and and Sten bringing up the rear.

"Dwarf." Sten said in irritation.

"What?!"

"Stop tripping me." Sten warned.

"Stop tripping yourself!" Oghren shot back

"If you were significant enough to notice, I wouldn't step on you."

"Oh, well... your mother!"

"That was disappointing. I expected better from you." Sten admonished.

"Sorry, I was in a rush." Oghren grumbled.

"I am curious." Zevran said to Elissa as she opened the door to the stairwell.

"Hmm?" She was distracted, hope for a cure still bouncing around in her mind.

"Why the sudden joking about sexual activity? You have completely ignored such banter in the past." He questioned.

"What? There is no sudden-"

"The drawings in that book could be considered very odd to even someone with much experience under his belt. I can only imagine that they are... extremely confusing to you?"

"I know how sex works." Elissa scoffed. 

"You have had only one lover. One who from my understanding, had been as equally inexperienced."

"That or he and Duncan had a closer relationship than I ever suspected. Or maybe he encountered some form of tenticle monster before me?" She replied.

"That book should be burned." Sten stated.

"I dunno, that one drawing with the two ladies has been keeping my mind pretty busy while I polished my axe. Those legs wrapped around eachother like that..." Oghren grunted strangely.

"No one wants to know what you think about while you polish your axe." Zevran told him.

"Elissa, if you have any questions or, perhaps would like to do some 'hands on' education I would be more than happy to oblige."

Sten made a low menacing sound in his throat at Zevran after Elissa rolled her eyes and slid down the ladder to the lower deck.

"Or not." Zevran smirked at the Qunari.

"Where do you think the cargo hold is?" She asked them while they descended the ladder.

Zevran took the torch from her, and the lead.

"You've been to it before?" She asked.

"I simply wanted to assure myself there was nothing dangerous aboard the ship." Zevran told her in mock innocence. "And, obviously, well I am incredibly nosey by nature "

"Zev..."

"I know how you feel about stealing." He told her, wrapping a friendly arm around her shoulders. "Do not fret."

"Said the assassin to the killing machine." Oghren grumbled to Sten.

"Why were you conversing with her about the act?" Sten questioned Oghren as Zevran and Elissa trailed ahead.

"The act- oh hehehe. You Quinari know how to make it sound _passionate_ , don't ya."

"Answer the question Dwarf."

"She told ya. We were joking around " Oghren side eyed Sten.

"Why would she joke with you?" Sten asked.

"By the stones, I don't know!"

"Did you make an attempt on her?"

"Not that I wouldn't love those long legs wrapped around my-"

Sten repeated the low growling sound.

"You have something in your throat, giant?"

"No. It's a voluntary sound intended to be threatening in nature." Sten informed him calmly.

"Oh. It's working for ya." Oghren chuckled.

"Thank you."

"So. Is this you, pissin on your rock?" The dwarf asked

"What?" Sten scowled at the small man.

"Chiseling your name in the stone?" Oghren continued, a grin forming.

Sten was silent.

"Carving out your spot in the tunnel? Marking your territory?"

"I understand your meaning." Sten informed him. "There is no territory to be marked."

"Hehehe. Sure. Listen, I get it. Say no more." The Dwarf replied. "Some advice, you may want to either make your move or 'get a handle on yourself' though, if you get my meaning."

"Hrhmph."

"Why are you two all the way back there!?" Elissa called.

"I am moving slowly for the sake of the dwarfs small legs." Sten told her as they drew closer.

"Low blow." Oghren snipped.

"Appropriate choice of words, child of stone." Sten replied.

"Oh are your little legs tired my stocky friend?" Zevran teased as they caught up.

"Who goes there?!" A new voice shouted.

"Blight it!" Ohgren said, drawing his weapon.  
Zevran followed suit and held a dagger at the ready.

"You must be joking." Eliss said to them.

A figure appeared at the end of the hall.

"Identify yourself!" He demanded.

"After you!" Elissa called back, a hand on her hip.

"Ship Guard Brynnd." The man announced, pulling his sword.

"Elissa Cousland, Grey Warden... formerly." She responded.

"I heard you were on the ship." He said, in amazement, sheathing his sword as he approached. "Why is the Hero of Farelden creeping around the belly of a ship?"

"I'm not the Hero of Farelden. That is- was King Alistair." She responded, a sadness creeping into her voice.

"You are also referred to as such." The guard informed her.

"The Queen didnt seem to have that opinion when we last spoke." Elissa replied.

"The Queen shouldn't be on the throne from what I hear, you should." Brynnd crossed his arms.

"Dont let her hear you talking that way." Elissa smirked at him.

"Speaking of treason in the dark hull a ship headed for Kirkwall... nefarious." He joked.

Brynnd had sandy shaggy hair and high cheekbones, a dusting of freckles across his nose. He was Ferelden in appearence and demeanor, a reminder of the home she was leaving.

"This discussion is pointless." Sten stated gruffly, causing the much smaller Brynnd to look at him, uncomfortable.

Oghren and Zevran looked at eachother knowingly.

"What are you doing down here?" Brynnd asked, finding his voice and resuming a more official tone, but softer.

"There was a murder on the upper decks a few days ago. The clues have lead us in this direction." Elissa said.

"Solving a murder at sea." Brynnd responded, itching his chin. "Sounds heroic to me."

"So you will not try and prevent our little investigation?" She asked.

"I don't see any reason I should." He shrugged. "I wouldn't mind tagging along, to be honest."

"The more the merrier." She told him.

"Alright, what are we looking for?" Brynnd asked.

"Clues... blood, a weapon, anything." She answered.

"Actually. I did see something. This way." He told her, turning and walking down the hall.

"I think being the Hero of Farelden is going to work wonders in your favor." Zevran whispered in her ear.

"About time something does." She said.

Elissa jogged to catch up with Brynnd as he showed her to the large cargo doors.

"We should probably address the growling and your..." Zevran said quietly to Sten.

"What? This was a waste of time to begin with and it's taking far too long. I will express my irritation with the task as I wish." Sten stated, moving past them and following behind Elissa more closely now.

"Well, if that's his cover story, so be it." Zevran said to Oghren

Brynnd lit a torch in the center of the cargo hold. Massive crates, chests and barrels were neatly stacked around them.

"I was doing inspection when I found this yesterday." He told them and went to the side wall. He pointed out a ripped piece of brown fabric dangling from a nail. "I didnt think much of it at the time. Could be nothing. Maybe one of the other cargo guards leaned against the wall and got himself."

Elissa took the fabric and examined it before pocketing it.

"Let's look around and see if we can find anything else." She told them.

"Something like this?" Zevran asked, tugging gently at something tucked between a few crates.

It was a few pages of ripped paper.

"Zevran!" Elissa exclaimed. "You sharp eyed Antivan wonder!"

"I do think these may be some of the missing pages." Zevran waved them about. "Oh. This one is quite graphic."

Brynnd drew closer and squinted at the page in Zevrans hand.

"You lot have been looking for... ahem.. ugh.-" A blush crept onto Brynnds cheeks.

"Nasty pictures. Yep." Oghren told him, snatching the pages from Zevran.

"Interesting." Brynnd muttered at the illicit image of breasts, raising a brow as Oghren turned the page over.

Elissa peeked her head over her friends shoulder and saw a series of odd looking markings on the page, neatly rowed.

"Is that... could it be a code of some kind?" She asked.

"I suspect so. Perhaps not though... Considering the author is not particularly sound of mind." Zevran told her.

"Okay. Let's split up, there has to be something else down here we're missing." She told them.

Zevran climbed atop the crates and Oghren checked the places low.

Sten idly followed Elissa, forcing himself to have patience with the task but also complaining about it to her in Qunari.

Brynnd was the one who found something.

Another journal. This one with a different handwriting and more violent imagery.

"Necromancy." Zevran stated, sounding intrigued.

Indeed that was what it appeared to be. A journal of a different mage. One detailing how he would go about harvesting different body parts.

"Ah. I think we may have discovered a motive!" Zevran exclaimed theatrically.

"Yeah?" Elissa sounded interested.

"Think uh, these guys got to comparing staff sizes and someone got their feelings hurt?" Oghren asked.

"No. I think this deranged mage has plans to use parts of the deceased to create himself a lover." Zevran shared.

"That is disgusting." Sten announced.

"This ship has some sickos on it. That's for sure." Brynnd muttered, pointing to a taxidermied Mabari.

"But what kind of a blighting weirdo would wanna make a woman out of dead women parts?" Oghren asked.

"This must be the murderers." Elissa flicked the journal. "The handwritings different, and the content more... coherent. Super gross, but organized."

Sten lifted the book and smelled it.

"Okay Sten. That was the weirdest thing you have ever done." Elissa told him.

"Give me the rag." He told her, holding open his palm.

Elissa produced it from her pocket and Sten smelled that too.

"I'm starting to think Qunari are more like Mabari every day." Ogbren shared.

"No." Sten glared. "They have a similar scent."

He handed Elissa back the journal and the rag.

"Could you..." She toed the floor with her foot.

"Could I what?" Sten asked shortly.

"Sniff out some clues for us, perhaps?" Zevran joked.

"Hell. If he can do that, why dont we just take him around and have him take a whiff of everyone aboard the ship?!" Oghren suggested.

"I am not a dog." Sten growled. "I will not behave as such."

Nothing else was found in the cargo hold.

The next few days bled into eachother.

Elissa tirelessly attempted to solve a meaningless death and the even more meaningless coded rantings of a mad men with Zevrans assistance.

Sten became more frustrated.

Oghren became increasingly drunk.

Zevran just kept stealing little trinkets.

Finally Elissa cracked. She grabbed the bottle of Starkhaven fire water Brynnd had given her before they left the cargo hold and decided to spend the afternoon alone, drinking.

When Sten returned to the room that night she was sitting in the center of the bed. The phlactery in one hand, a large brown bottle in the other and the books in front of her.

"Enough of this." Sten told her. "You are behaving like a mad woman."

Elissa looked up from the book and locked her glazed over eyes on him.

"If there is a cure Sten. I want it." She told him.

"If. You are not even certain such a thing exists." He snapped.

Elissa arched an eyebrow and took a swig from the bottle. The challenge was unspoken but clear in the air.

Sten stared her down. She had spent so long in charge with purpose that she had no idea how to function without either of those things.

"This is pathetic." He grumbled, looking at the objects she had grown so obsessed with.

"Don't hold back Sten. Tell me how you really feel." Her words and expression were both soaked in liquor and hostility.

Tell her how he felt... well If that was what she wanted. He could provide it.

"They made you a grey warden but taught little of your own order. You know not who you are or what you are for. Your duty is complete and you are lost. It was cruel of your people to leave you this way." Sten said.

"I decide what I am and what I am for." Elissa replied.

"Decide then." He challenged.

She was silent.

"Why do you hesitate?" He was pushing her too far with his words, and he knew it.

"Why do you let the tamassrans control your life?" She shot back.

"What makes it mine? It was theirs to begin with." He was not surprised by her lashing out.

"You don't belong to them."

"Yet even you consider seeking them for purpose. They knew me before I was born. I was born on the day they chose. It was their hands which brought me into this world and on the day I die it will be the tamassrans who will note my passing."

"Note your passing!? That's what they will do?" She laughed darkly.

"Of course. Who else would?" He failed to see the humor in it as she did.

"I would not 'note your passing.'" She paged through a journal, avoiding his eyes.

Stens expression hardened. He would admit her words stung, but only to himself.

"I would miss you. I would mourn you." She was staring at the phlactery in her palm now.Her expression was tight.

Sten fell perfectly still as the emotion on her face grew. Her eyes and the tip of her pale nose growing pink as rage and sadness threatened to spill from her.

"I would feel... my heart hurts thinking of it. Sten. If you could only understand." She whispered.

"Kadan." Sten said softly.

"Para." She reminded him.

He smiled softly as she called herself stubborn, believing that it meant 'once was'.

"Para Kadan." Sten said the words again. His stubborn heart. He reflected on its meaning and the false meaning he had given her for it.

He closed his eyes to her emotion that had so easily ensnared him. 

The question he never asked now had an answer. She felt it too.

He tried to remember when he had first felt it and could not, he only recalled the first time they had spoken.

She had greeted him so respectfully when he was locked in the cage that at first he thought she had been mocking him

Later that day she unlocked the cage and told him he was to help her defeat the blight.

He realized she was unlike the rest of her kind then. He asked her why she freed him.

Her answer had been so soulful.

He had been sentenced to death anyways she had reasoned. His death should have purpose, not for him but for those who would live after.

It did not matter.

He would not speak of it.

She need not know. Her soul was still torn and her balance now lost.

Maybe one day when she was ready they would have understanding in eachother.

Sten forced that selfish thought away.

Elissa dropped the phlactery on the bed and threw the necromancers book across the room in a sudden outburst of frustration.

His silence had only told her one thing, a false thing. That he did not understand.

"I dont want this... poison in my blood!" She snapped.

"It is there as certain as the sun is in the sky. What difference does it make?" He asked calmly.

"It is a weakness!"

Sten stood in silence. Waiting for her to continue.

"One day the song will start. It will call me to the deep roads. No matter where I am, or what life I choose to live. It's only so long before it comes for me and pulls me back into that darkness. Even if I..." she shook her head.

" ~~ _My stubborn heart. I will hear you._~~ "

"Even if I find peace in the Qun, Sten." She breathed in deeply. "The taint will one day rob me of it, my death will not be in service to the Qun. It would be in service to nothing in the deep roads."

"You lack the wisdom to understand... It is not your fault." He told her, sitting on the foot of the bed.

"Undsrstand what?" She asked.

"The Qun will not ask you for your death." He told her. "They would expect you to offer your life."

He would not turn to witness the pain in her eyes as she attempted to make sense of his words.

"Wisdom is like breath, you need it but no other can give you theirs." He offered, a way to comfort her in a time of confusion without touching her.

He wanted to touch her. To nuzzle into her neck and breath her scent closer than ever before. To hold her as she cried and raged and wore herself out against him. After that had been done and she was weak from the effort he wished to worship her body. To take her to the brink of madness with his tongue until she was begging him nonsensically to claim her. Then, to ride her until she could only tremble in his grasp. He wondered if he did that, perhaps she would sleep well. This primal thing he felt was dangerous and he needed to keep it suppressed. 

"Where does one find wisdom then?" She asked.

He forced his imaginings from his mind.

"Its everywhere, in each breath of eternity. You need only to reach for it." As he wished to reach for her.

"You calm me." She told him, wiping tears from her eyes.

You calm me. He thought

"That is not my intent." He lied.

The truth was he did not mind her wild and uncontrolled. He felt, honored in a way, to be there for her in these moments of weakness.

"Maybe that's why." She said. "I wish you could understand how I..."

"There is nothing left for me to understand." Sten looked at her now, his expression firm. He understood, and she didnt need to know that he did.

"Yes there is."

"I highly doubt it." He told her dryly.

"You are..." she was trying, searching for the right word. "You are my 'bears tar'."

"Beres-taar." He corrected her pronunciation. "Your tongue is lazy."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Without constructive criticism, how will you improve?" His tone was light, teasing.

"You are my shield." She repeated, more clearly

Sten did smile at her this time, she said it clearly and in a hostile fashion.

"Will you..." she laid back on the bed and poked at him with her foot.

Stens pulse began to race at the contact.

"Will you tell me more about the islands? The spotted cats?" She requested.

"No." He answered quickly. Standing.

He sat on the floor to meditate.

Elissa watched his shoulders rise and fall as he sat there silently, until her eyes grew heavy and she fell asleep.

After meditating, Sten stood, walked to the bed and tucked her into the covers.


End file.
